He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize