ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
