I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
