69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
