is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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