Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
