Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
