I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize