do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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