We're facebook friends in real life
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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