i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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