Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
