Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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