Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They took my balls.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
