Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
