I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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