maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
