The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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