Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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