You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
