Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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