YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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