i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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