That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
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What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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