maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize