I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
