if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize