So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
