We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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