I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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