i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
