singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
