You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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