would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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