It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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