Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
try to milk me bitch
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