Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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