On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize