Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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