What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize