shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Farmville is her only friend.
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Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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