My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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