I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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