I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
