Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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