if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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