I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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