Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
