We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
