Your tits are I can't wait for
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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