wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sorry my hands just texted you
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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