i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
