Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
