pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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