yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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