I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
