Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
