Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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