:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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